11 OF THE BEST THINGS ABOUT LITTLE MIX’S PERFORMANCE AT HEAVEN

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1. HEAVEN IS A GREAT VENUE FOR A POP CONCERT

We gays love our divas almost as much as we love brunch, short shorts, and complaining about people who start drama at parties, before ourselves starting drama at parties. But chuck a thousand of us into a hot sweaty room and get us all inebriated, and the potential for homoerotic carnage is high. The acts who grace the iconic stage of Heaven, a space previously ‘werqed’ by Lady Gaga, Kylie Minogue and Britney Spears as well as many more of your gayvourites, are simultaneously playing to their most adoring fans but also their harshest critics. It’s a difficult accomplishment to achieve, and Little Mix utterly smashed it, proving why they are the most triumphant victors of The X Factor thus far. The venue is so nice and small that even if you’re far away you’re actually very close, and don’t catch us admitting it, but the savage crowd makes it a lot more fun.

2 THE SETLIST WAS HIT HEAVY AND GAY FRIENDLY

The setlist was short but sweet and they kept it to the hits only, with the bombastic ‘Move’ and ‘Salute’ in particular being the two masterpieces in their catalogue which really demand that all pop fans pay respect to these girls. They are grimy and dirty, and almost quite dark, but still utterly massive and completely dependent on the fierce-ness that Little Mix exude with every step they take.

3. ‘BLACK MAGIC’ IS EXACTLY THE TYPE OF SINGLE LITTLE MIX SHOULD BE RELEASING IN 2015

The Eighties revival which is omnipresent in all the best popstars at the moment couldn’t be more profound than in ‘Black Magic’, which openly and proudly takes influence from ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ by Cyndi Lauper. The strutting guitars are reconciled with euphoric synths which permeate the chorus and create a wonderfully throwback sound, and yet it still retains Little Mix’s charisma and magnetism. It becomes 10x bigger in a live setting, with the drums being ramped up to become denser and harder, whilst the cheerleading chants that reside within the middle 8 absolutely demand to be hollered out by the girls with their fists a-pumping.

4. COVERING RU PAUL WAS A STROKE OF GENIUS

Jade is a self-proclaimed stan of our King, our leader, Ru Paul, and apparently commanded that they cover one of his songs for their set at the largest gay club in Europe. ‘Sissy That Walk’ went down a storm and the accompanying routine which included a completely fabulous and instantly historic hair-grab to end all hair-grabs, was a wonderful homage to the sashay-ers of Ru Paul’s iconic stage.

5. THEIR ATTIRE WAS FIERCE

As the blaring and imposing sirens of ‘Salute’ accompanied their entrance on stage and they calmly and modestly strutted into their positions, a wave of reverence overcame the room. They were draped in cloth down to their ankles with massive slits on either side, showing off their enviably toned and admirably sweaty thighs – literally they were dripping in sweat so that they looked like half melted caramel, and yet still they retained that #popstar quality that we all love. Little Mix might be humbly commercially successful, but in terms of their performance they presented like they are the biggest pop act on the planet.

6. THE CHOREOGRAPHY WAS TRIUMPHANT AND BEYONCE-ESQUE

The choreography was so expertly executed and each and every one of the girls can boast such technical skill and ability, that it all results in a pop show unrivalled by any of their contemporaries. They clearly draw inspiration from the great girl bands of times gone past, taking the best elements and moulding them into their own unique niche. Little Mix are a 90’s band existing in a 00’s world.

7. JADE IS A FANTASTIC GIRLBAND MEMBER

Vocally, Jade might be the star of the group. She’s emerged out of nowhere as vocal powerhouse, having developed and nurtured her vocals inexplicably in her days since that ITV stage, with the massive note at the end of ‘Black Magic’ echoing and reverberating around the room in a moment of power only the best popstars can bestow upon us. Her cute-ness should fool nobody, as she embodies the FIERCE DIVA persona exceptionally convincingly.

8. JESY IS A FANTASTIC GIRLBAND MEMBER

Jesy carries the group’s dancing. Her moves are so tight and controlled, but still possess a relentless and loose ability, and she stomps and struts like she was born to perform. She might not be the strongest member vocally, but that’s the point of girlbands – every member provides something different, creating a whole being which falters in absolutely no element.

9. LEIGH-ANNE IS A FANTASTIC GIRLBAND MEMBER

Fierce epitomized. She looks like a model who mercilessly storms across the stage. Her sultry stares and fiery beauty make her a crucial part of this game.

10. PERRIE IS A FANTASTIC GIRLBAND MEMBER

Them vocals. THEM VOCALS. They soar. She soars.

11. LITTLE MIX ARE THE BEST ACTIVE GIRLBAND CURRENTLY

Ultimately it’s impossible to identity the MVP in the team of Little Mix. In a world in which the British music industry is obsessed with being COOL and AUTHENTIC, Little Mix are completely refreshing in how pop-starry they are. They wear leotards and do dance routines and sing pop songs and they are FAB. It’s also uplifting how genuinely successful they are – ‘Black Magic’ has just been added to the Radio A List. If Spice Girls and Beyoncé had a little pop baby (SOMEONE PLEASE GET WORKING ON THIS??) then Little Mix would be the result – and in taking inspiration from the high and mighty of pop, Little Mix are surely on their way to themselves becoming the high and mighty of pop.

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One comment

  1. Alana · July 6, 2015

    Amazing review, thank you for giving us a taste of the night. They are fucking amazing and the audience was amazing too!

    Like

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